


Never Underestimate a Father's Love

by stark_stantony



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Baby Ben Solo, Father-Son Relationship, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Good Parent Han Solo, POV Han Solo, Parent Han Solo, Young Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:13:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26276200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stark_stantony/pseuds/stark_stantony
Summary: "Will you help me?" Ben spoke softly.Han stepped toward his son, "Yes, anything."As Ben brought his lightsaber forward, holding it in front of him, Han knew that one of only two outcomes could happen right now. Ben would either hand over his saber, or stab Han with it. But that didn't stop him from offering his help, from placing his hand atop of the saber.Han could hear Ben's breathing get heavier, and shakier. He knew which outcome was gonna happen just moments before it did. As the saber ignited through his body, memories started flashing through his mind…
Relationships: Ben Solo & Han Solo
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	Never Underestimate a Father's Love

"Will you help me?" Ben spoke softly.

Han stepped toward his son, "Yes, anything."

As Ben brought his lightsaber forward, holding it in front of him, Han knew that one of only two outcomes could happen right now. Ben would either hand over his saber, or stab Han with it. But that didn't stop him from offering his help, from placing his hand atop of the saber. 

Han could hear Ben's breathing get heavier, and shakier. He knew which outcome was gonna happen just moments before it did. As the saber ignited through his body, memories started flashing through his mind…

* * *

Han lay on a big bed, back in their home when they had lived on Chandrila. Leia lay by his side, panting and sweaty, smiling the happiest smile Han had ever seen. A little bundle of blankets lay in her arms, a tiny face peeped out from under them. 

"Oh, Han, he's beautiful!" Leia said with a gentle laugh.

Han stretched out a finger to touch the small face. As he did, he smiled. 

Leia looked at him, "Do you wanna hold him?"

Han looked into her eyes before nodding with a soft smile.

Leia carefully passed the baby into his arms. His arms felt too shaky at first, but they stopped as soon as his son was in his arms. 

He looked down at him and laughed gently. He couldn't believe that he'd helped create this small person. He was his son, and he was gonna do whatever he could to protect him.

He gently kissed his son's forehead before the memory faded away.

* * *

Han sat on the floor of Ben's nursery, in their home on Hosnian Prime. Little Ben sat in front of him playing with some blocks, one of which he was chewing on. 

"Hey, big guy, how about we do not ingest wood, hey?" Han said as he took the block from his son's mouth. 

Ben looked up at his father with his big brown eyes before giggling and throwing the block that was in his other hand across the room. 

Han smiled at his son's giggles. No matter how bad he was feeling, Ben's laughter always brought him joy. 

"Hey, come to Dada," Han spoke gently as he picked his son up.

He held him with one arm against his chest, Ben's face right in front of his own. Ben had his fingers in his mouth, but that didn't stop him from smiling at his father. 

He took his spit covered hand out and placed it gently on Han's cheek. Han smiled and nudged his son with his nose.

"Dada loves you," Han said softly.

"Dada," Ben echoed.

Han felt his heart stop for a second, right before it swelt up. His face did almost the same thing. He laughed gently before kissing his son's cheek.

"Leia!" Han walked out of the room. "Ben just said 'dada'!"

* * *

Han sat at the dining room table looking over some things about the Senate that Leia had left out for him. He’d just gotten back from a week-long mission to the Outer Rim, and was exhausted. All he wanted to do was snuggle up next to his wife in bed and sleep. But Leia had left out a note saying that it was urgent, so he was going to do it as soon as he could.

He was about halfway through the work when Han heard a door open and soft footsteps coming down the hallway. He looked towards the doorway, and saw a 2 year old Ben standing under it. He smiled at him and gestured for him to come. Ben gladly obliged, running to his father.

“Hey kid,” Han said softly as he picked his son up. “What’s up?”

Ben looked up at his father as he was set down on the table, “I’m awake.”

“You are awake, question is, why?” Han said.

“I woke up,” Ben replied, looking into his father’s eyes.

Han sighed, realising that Ben didn’t know why he was awake. 

“Well, you wanna hang out with me until you’re sleepy again?” Han asked.

Ben smiled and nodded happily before jumping into his father’s arms. Han turned him around to face the table, so that Ben could watch him. He carefully took out his pair of lucky dice and placed them into his son’s small hands to play with. 

Some time had passed when Han felt Ben’s head flop sideways. He gently propped his head up against him and lay him out along his arm, so that he could lay him down. He smiled at his sleeping son and leaned down to kiss his temple, before getting back to work.

* * *

The sound of crying filled Han's ears. He rolled over in bed and was met with his wife's sleeping body. He had hoped that she'd been awake so that she'd tend to their son, but he instantly felt guilty for feeling that. 

He slowly rolled out of bed and walked towards Ben's bedroom down the hall. He carefully opened the door, and the sight in front of him was probably one of the most disheartening thing a father could ever see. 

His four year old son sat in the middle of his bed, holding his crossed legs to his chest with his teddy bear between. His body shook with fright, and his face was covered in snot and tears. 

"Daddy?" Ben's small and broken voice called out.

Han rushed over to him and bundled him up in his arms. He sat on the boy's bed, in almost the same position as Ben was, but rather than cradling his legs, he cradled his son close to his chest.

It'd been two years since the nightmares started. Night after night they'd come, and it seemed like they weren't stopping any time soon. But no matter how many times they happened, Han never got used to seeing his son like this. 

He gently rocked back and forth, rubbing his hand up and down Ben's back. Ben's quiet cries slowly turned into soft snores, feeling safe and protected against his father's chest. Sleep took Han soon after.

* * *

Han loudly, but carefully, opened the hangar bay door. It slid open with ease once Han got in front of it and could push.

“Woah,” Ben exclaimed as he walked in behind his father.

“You say that like you haven’t seen her before,” Han said with a laugh.

They both looked up at  _ The Millenium Falcon _ . The ship was run down and covered in dust and dirt from Han’s last mission, which he’d gotten back from just last night, so he hadn’t had time to fix it up yet.

“No, I’m just amazed at how filthy it is,” Ben stated with a smirk.

“What- hey!” Han shouted.

Ben giggled at his father’s reaction, which made Han smile in return. He walked over to Ben and gently patted the back of his head, guiding him into  _ the Falcon _ . They walked down the corridors towards the cockpit. Han lifted Ben up into the pilot’s seat, before sitting himself into the co-pilot.

“Okay, remember, we’re not flying, just testing, so that you can get the hang of it,” Han said.

“Okay,” Ben replied. “How long until I get to fly it?”

“Let’s say when you’re 13, and see what happens.”

“Thirteen?! That’s almost double my life Daddy!”

“Yeah, well, I’m not letting my 7 year old fly anything anywhere, it’s too dangerous.”

“Well, okay then, fine,” Ben grumbled.

Han spent the next hour showing Ben all of the controls, what they did and how they worked. Most of the time, Han wasn’t sure that he was even listening to him, but every once in a while, Ben would ask a specific question to what he was talking about. It made him so happy that Ben was so interested in spacecrafts and flying, it gave them something bond over. They didn’t have much in common, Ben mostly took after his mother, but at least they had this.

“So, what now?” Ben asked once they were done.

“Wanna get some ice cream?” Han asked as he stood up.

Ben looked up at his father with excitement, a smile forming on his face. He stood up in his seat and jumped into Han’s arms, wrapping his arms around his neck tightly. Han gladly embraced his son as he walked out of the ship.

“This is the best day ever,” Han heard Ben say into his ear.

* * *

Ben's hand held tightly onto Han's. He gently stroked the smaller hand with his thumb. They were watching as Luke and Leia spoke to each other out of earshot. Leia kept glancing at the two of them, giving a comforting smile. Ben looked up at his father, tears on his cheeks, his teddy bear against his chest. Han let go of his son’s hand and pulled his head into his side, holding him close.

“Okay Benny boy,” Leia said as she and Luke walked towards them. “It’s time to go.”

Ben shook his head against Han’s side, “No.”

“Baby, come on,” Leia said, kneeling down in front of him. “We talked about this, it’s okay.”

“No, I don’t want to go,” Ben said, his voice breaking.

Leia took his hand into hers and gently tugged it, “Ben, come on.”

“No.” He looked up at Han. “Daddy, please don’t make me go. Please Daddy.”

Han looked down at Ben, and then up at Luke. Ben was only ten, he shouldn’t be separated from his parents so young, but he trusted Luke. Tears started to roll down his cheeks as Luke gave him a look. Han knelt down to Ben’s level, brushing some hair out of his son’s face.

“I know that this is scary, going away from us, but you’ll have your Uncle Luke with you, okay? You’ll be okay,” Han said gently.

“And if you need us, you can just write to us, okay? We’ll always be there for you.” Leia kissed Ben’s temple. 

Ben looked at both of his parents, as if he was debating what to do next. A look of defeat passed through his eyes before he looked at his feet.

“Okay,” he said softly.

Han took that as his cue, and pulled Ben into a hug, wrapping his arms tightly around his son. He held him close, taking in the moment, realising that he didn’t know when he’d get to see him again. He reluctantly let go, letting Leia hug their son too.

He stood up and looked at Luke again. He gave him a look that said “If anything happens to him, I’ll kill you”. Luke nodded in understanding before walking forward. Leia let go and stood up beside Han. Luke took Ben’s hand in his and started to walk towards his ship.

Ben looked back at the two of them and waved as he walked into the ship, and continued waving until the ramp had completely closed.

“I hope that this is worth it,” Han said, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“It will be,” Leia replied, slipping her hand into her husband’s.

Little did they know that that would be the last time they’d all be together.

* * *

…The heat from the lightsaber was unbearable, pain seethed through his entire body.

“Thank you,” Ben said before pulling the saber out.

Han struggled to keep himself upright. He reached out to gently hold his son’s face and looked into his eyes. He hoped that his eyes said what he was thinking.  _ I forgive you, I love you. _

Slowly, his hand slipped, and he fell off of the bridge into the abyss below. As he fell, he thought that, no matter what he did, had done, or will do, Ben will always be his son, and he will always forgive him, and he will always love him.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm very happy with how this turned out. Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it :)


End file.
